I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
