Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
