Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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