You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Please don't give away my fajitas
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
