so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
