I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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