How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize