I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
