Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
