I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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