My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
