i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
wow bdsm is so cute
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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