My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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