ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
