so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
