Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
