What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
