i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
