Hey man sorry I got all grabby
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
