I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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