people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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