I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
