Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
