I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Randomize