Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
