Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
pray to the hookup gods
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize