Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
