tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
