I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
