turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The Olympian is in my bed
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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