BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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