Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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