My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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