hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
