New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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