Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize