Someone shit on the floor
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
