you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
