You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
