my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
