I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i dont even know how to be here
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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