I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
