Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
