on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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