My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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