she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
