I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize