i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
