I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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