guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
