Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
