I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
