he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
