on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
