we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i will never coherently bang her
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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