Duck Duck Cougar?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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