we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
