he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize