Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
