I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
