I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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