I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
As shirtless as possible
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
the liver wants what the liver wants
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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