So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
