you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
