in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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